Oh well, if they aren't together now, then they probably never will be. I thought they'd be good together, like PB&J. [wheels turning] Pam Beasley ... and Jim. What a waste. What. A. Waste.Kevin
Finishing that 5k, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccine alfredo and drank less water, than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit, well today I had a triumph of the human body. That's why everybody was applauding for me at the end. My guts and my heart, and while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I'm very, very proud of that.Michael
Toby: And the winner is Toby Flenderson!
Kelly: Have a seat, I'll write it down.
Toby: Where are we?
Kelly: I dunno, like 5 kilometers from the office.
Toby: He couldn't have made it a circle?
I'm makin' great time. Usually I have to take a bathroom break half way through a race like this, but not today.Toby
I've walked two marathons. Pretty sure I can handle a 5k. Key is drafting, eliminate wind resistance.Andy
Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.Stanley
Jan: OK, name please.
Creed: Creed Bratton, 75-plus division.
Jan: You're over 75 years old?
Creed: 82, November 1st. How much is the prize money?
Jan: There's no prize money.
Creed: What, is any of this real?
They say if you're nervous around someone you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on... or a funny coat.Pam
Pam: So I closed the door but the image of his...
Pam: ... dangling participle...
Pam: ... still burned in my eyes.
Jim: I can imagine.
Jim: So what's your strategy for this race?
Pam: Well I'm gonna start fast.
Pam: Then I'm gonna run fast in the middle.
Pam: Then I'm gonna end fast.
Jim: Why won't more people do that?
Pam: Cause they're just stupid.
Angela: Pssst. I'm having relationship problems. And since you're always having relationship problems, I thought you'd be able to give me some advice.
Pam: What's wrong?
Angela: I have this crazy thought, that I know is crazy. That maybe Dwight killed my cat.
Angela: When I got home, Sprinkles' body was in the freezer where Dwight said he left her, but all my bags of frozen french fries had been clawed to shreds.
Angela: Something's not right. The vet's doing an autopsy.
Pam: Angela, I'm sorry.
Angela: Did Roy ever kill one of your cats?
Pam: I'm more of a dog person.
I'm petrified of nipple chafing. Once it starts it is a vicious circle. If you have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more. So... I take precautions.Andy