South Park Season 3 Episode 10: "Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery" Quotes


Liane: Eric's not fat. He's just big boned.
Kyle: Well he must have a huge bone up his ass, then!

Mr. Garrison: Nothing ever went wrong in this town before that evil Korn band showed up.
Sharon Marsh: Well I say we go find them and kick their devil-worshipping butts out of town!

Cartman: Maybe we should shove a stick up her ass and use her as a puppet. Ooooooooh! Scaaarry Grraaanddmma!
Kyle: Alright Cartman, that does it! That's my Grandma, you show her some Goddamn respect!

Halloween is an abomination of God, a celebration of the occult!

Father Maxi

C'mon Ned, this isn't a whorehouse; it's a horROR house.

Uncle Jimbo

(Guys from graveyard at town meeting.)
Guy #1: We're here to inform you that someone has been stealing bodies from the local graveyard, most likely to have sex with them. Here's what having sex with a dead body might look like. (guy #2 holds up a large card.)
Crowd: EWW!
Guy #1: And here's what having sex with a dead body might sound like. (Guy #2 proceeds to open a jar of mayonnaise and repeatedly ram his fist into it, causing a sick slurping sound)
Crowd: UGH!
Person in crowd: Excuse me, how is this helping?

(The kids are plotting to scare the 5th graders with a dead body.)
Cartman: Then where the hell are we gonna get a dead body?
Stan: We're gonna dig up Kyle's dead gramma!
Kyle: Yeah fat ass, we're gonna dig upDIG UP KYLE'S DEAD GRAMMA?!

(to Nibblet) Ahh! You goddamn chicken from outer space! (He chases Nibblet as Nibblet flies away.)


Oh sweet. The "Life-Sized Blow-up Antonio Banderas Love Doll." What a cool Christmas present.


(reading box) 'Life-sized Antonio Banderas Blow Up Love Doll;' comes with realistic gen-e-tilia.


Jonathan: It's simple. Priest Maxi didn't want there to be a Halloween, so he decided to scare everyone away from the docks.
David: Yeah. And then he used this flashlight and some cotton swabs to create the ghosts. (shows the flashlight and swabs, then shines the light through the swabs. The pirate ghosts appear in the distance)
Fieldy: (with some cheese and a cup)Then all he needed was some sound effects created by this cup and a piece of cheese. (holds them to his mouth and sounds) Aaaaraargh!
Jonathan: And all he had to do then was create a ghost ship, by using some candles, a mirror, and two squirrels. (genuflects to place the candle between the mirror and the squirrels. A pirate ship appears on the lake)
Chef: Father, why did you go to all this trouble?
Fr. Maxi: Because Halloween is an abomination of God. I would do anything to stop this wretched, unholy holiday!
Chef: Including killing people and wreaking havoc all over South Park?
Brunet: Don't you see that by trying to stop Halloween you've scared the hell out of everybody?
Fr. Maxi: No.

Me and the gang learned a lot and we hope you did too. You all perceived us to be mean, evil people but really we're just normal guys. And we all perceived pirate ghosts to be real when actually they were just cotton swabs. So I guess the lesson is it's easy to perceive something one way and then be wrong. So we all need to learn to be a little less perceptive.

Jonathan Davis