Scrubs Quotes - Page 191

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Turk: Agility exercises?
Todd: No. I'm air-fondling Dr. Miller's boobies. Who's with me?

Todd: She just talked to me like I'm an idiot.
Turk: Hot chick, 12 o'clock.
Todd's eyes fly up to the ceiling.
Elliot: Wow.
Turk: I know.

Hot Doc, 3 o'clock!... I mean 5 o'clock!... Over there!

Todd

Maddie: Where can one get a nice gin and tonic?
J.D.: You know, down the street on the right, they'll make an appletini that'll knock your socks off.
Maddie: Right! Let's go and get drunk before pilates!

Allison: Hey, I've been sharing a guest room with razor-knees, here, for the last two weeks. Do you have a queen bed?
J.D.: Well, it would be "queen" if I took my "cwothes" off it.
Maddie: Ooh, he's quick. What's he like in the sack?
Jordan: Quicker.

Jordan: Okay, why don't you show the girls around while I'm in my board meeting.
Dr. Cox: Love to. Newbie? I've got a job for you.
Jordan: No, no. No pawning them off on Radar. They want the big-boy tour.

Jordan: Aren't you a little dolled up for the movies?
Allison: If little miss co-dependent here doesn't get "shagged" every two days, she gets the shakes.
Maddie: It's true. Look.
Dr. Cox: 'Course, that could be 'cause you're sober for a change.
Maddie: Maybe!

Female Patient: You Know, Doctor, I'm getting a little tired of the sexual innuendo.
Todd: In your end-o.

Carla: Nooooooo, Todd. The term "melons" is just as bad as "sweater meat."
Todd: Well then I am thoroughly confused!

Elliot, this woman doesn't like me. It could keep me from becoming the youngest chief of surgery in history, which could keep me from curing paralysis, which could keep me from having my birthday be a national holiday! And everyone knows I hate to work on my birthday!

Turk

Turk: Dr. Miller accused me of being sexist. Me! I'm marrying Carla - who do you think wears the pants? And the shirts...and the shoes...and sometimes my underwear.
Elliot: Really?
Turk: I said nothing.
Laverne: Mr. Roberts likes to wear my brassieres.

Dr. Kelso: See! It's working! Well, good luck with the seminar.
Carla: Oh! Dr. Kelso, you have five.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, I know! I put those in myself to prove a point. If you'll notice, all the "Kelso"s are written with a lower-case "k".
Carla: No, they're not.
Dr. Kelso: Well, it was worth a shot.