Futurama Season 2 Episode 15: "A Clone of My Own" Quotes


Farnsworth: Thank you all for saving me. Especially you, my little clone. No matter what you decide to do with your life, I'm still proud of you.
Cubert: I've already decided. Dad, when I grow up I wanna be just like you.
Farnsworth: Don't worry, son, you will. Incidentally, you might want to read up on a condition known as "wandering bladder".
Cubert: Why?
Farnsworth: No reason. No reason at all.

Fry: So what were they doing to you in that awful drawer?
Farnsworth: Oh, they had me hooked up to a bizarre virtual world that seemed absolutely real.
Amy: What was it like?
Farnsworth: It was as though I were living in a facility in Florida with hundreds of other old people. All day long we'd play bingo, eat oatmeal and wait for our children to call.
Leela: It's a hundred times more horrible than anything I could imagine.

Cubert: Good news, everyone! He's made a complete recovery.
Amy: Yeah!
Hermes: Wow!
Leela: All right!
Farnsworth: I'm as spry as a 140-year-old. [He jumps and something cracks.] See? I only broke one ankle.

Fry: Dammit, we'll have to fix the engine ourself.
Leela: We can't, you bastard! No one knows how it works. It's impossible!
Cubert: Nothing is impossible. I understand how the engines work now. It came to me in a dream. The engines don't move the ship at all. The ship stays where it is and the engines move the universe around it.
Bender: That's a complete load.
Cubert: Nothing's a complete load. Not if you can imagine it. That's what being a scientist is all about.

Leela: They've blown out one of our engines!
Fry: Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!
Leela: Only the Professor knows how to fix it. We have to wake him up.
Fry: Try shocking him.
Bender: Your social security cheque is late! Stuff costs more than it used to! Young people use curse words!

We're probably gonna make it, but we might not!


Fry: So this is where they stick old people. It's horrific!
Leela: At least it keeps them from driving.

Barrierbot #2: Return this shambling shuffle-boarder to his room.
Barrierbot #1: 7152 Maple Drive.
Leela: Sounds nice.
Barrierbot #1: Prepare to be surprised.

Barrierbot #2: But we'll still need to verify his identity with a DNA sample.
Bender: Got a hot, steaming batch right here!
Barrierbot #2: We only needed one cell!
Bender: Eh, keep the change, buddy.
Cubert: Stupid robot.
Barrierbot #1: Did your hump just say something?
Fry: Uh... I-I've got talking hump syndrome.
Barrierbot #1: Ah, T.H.S.

Barrierbot #1: Halt! Identify this guest.
Leela: Uh, this is Professor Hubert Farnsworth. He escaped.
Barrierbot #1: Escaped? No one escapes.
Barrierbot #2: This guest does not look 160.
Fry: What? I'm old. Listen: (old man voice) Hey, you kids, get off the lawn!
Barrierbot #1: Hmm, it is true old people are often concerned that there are children on their lawns.

Leela: OK, we'll tell them the Professor escaped and we're bringing him back. Fry, you'll have to dress up like a 160-year-old man.
Fry: I'm on it!
[He pulls his trousers up around his chest and starts acting frail and decrepit]
Cubert: My God, the illusion is so perfect I almost forgot I was looking at an idiot!
Leela: Now, they may ask for a DNA sample.
[Fry pulls his trousers higher.]
Fry: I'd like to see them find it!

Guardbots: Seize them!/Seize them!/Seize them!/Seize them!/Seize them!
Guardbot: Get them! I mean, seize them!